channelling

Suicide.

What do YOU think when you see that word? What kind of feelings come into your head?

When Michael first passed away friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers who heard of his passing shared their thoughts with us. Shock and disbelief, grief and anger were all shared with us in a huge outpouring of caring and support.  Today I want to talk about the anger. 

We have been asked "Are you not angry that Michael did what he did?".  "Doesn't it make you angry that he ended his life at home?".  We know that these two issues really are hard for some people....but they aren't or ever will be issues for us.  Yes, I wish my son hadn't taken his own life, but he was suffering terribly.  Emotionally healthy people generally do not take their own lives.  So, does it make sense to be angry at someone whose suffering was so severe that he saw leaving this world as his only option?  Michael did not want to die.  He just wanted the emotional pain to stop.  His suicide note told us he had "surpassed is capability to cope with.." his life.

He was not a coward, he didn't opt for 'the easy way out', but he did know that there was no help available for him. 

This is where I channel my anger; there aren't the resources to help people like my son.
But never, ever, will I be angry with Michael.