This has been such a sad week. On Thursday we lost another young man from our small community in a worksite accident. He was my granddaughter's cousin, just 19, with the promise of a long life ahead of him. Gone. I haven't written since then because it just wasn't my time, but this morning I realized that there is something I need to say.
When I heard of D.'s passing, I panicked. The reaction was a kind of gut reaction, completely out of my control. We both cried most most of the night reliving our loss last year (although through different circumstances) and knowing what his parents and family were going through. I spoke to friends who have also lost children and found we were all going through the same type of thing, such profound sadness. We cried for our little granddaughter, who at four years old has lost both her daddy and a cousin who had been living with them for two years.
Without yattering on I guess all I want to say here is that this last couple of days I found a strength inside me that I didn't know was there. Our grief, even after nearly a year is still very raw but it wasn't until this terrible event that I saw that inside me there has been a strength slowly building and I felt able to reach out, if only to offer a hug or to listen. There are so many days when I still feel very fragile, days when I don't want to have to be strong. Strength came unbidden. Is this healing? Maybe it has always been there, I don't know.
We are so very saddened at the loss of this young man. Michael really liked him and I know even where Michael is he will be sad to be joined, less than a year after his own leaving, by someone so full of life.
Rest peacefully boys. We love you.
2 comments:
I guess one of the curses of living a longer life is that you are witness to such sadness. I too feel like we've lost so many young people and it weighs heavy on my heart. This last year has been particularly hard. While the sadness is overwhelming it also makes me examine the life I'm living more closely. It makes me love just a little deeper and care more openly, for friends and family. The days, these days, just don't seem long enough. The time in between visits with our family, even when it's only a couple of weeks, feels like an eternity. It seems, with sadness around me, that I don't want to miss a moment of happiness. My goal through all of this is to live my life to the fullest, make the most of each day and to let the people in my life know that I love them and care for them. If anything good is to come out of such sadness, I guess this is what it is for me. Thinking of you!!
Again, goosebumps as I read this. I am so sorry to hear that yet another man died too soon.
I hope you've got someone with you today, giving you a hug, or lending you an ear.
THinking of you,
Michelle
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