A thin veil

When I look into skies like this I wonder where my son is.  I haven't done any reading about the next part of our journey because to be perfectly honest I feel that I am questioning my faith if I do that.    I believe in life everlasting and Heaven and Hell but perhaps not so much in the literal "streets paved with gold" and "fire and brimstone".  I believe that my son is at peace now but still I wonder "where" he is. 

I write this tonight after speaking with a friend of my son, who had a dream about him last night.  This friend is the third person with the same type of dream.  Michael assures them that he is better, he has healed, that he is with us all, we just cannot see him.  I  have dreamt of my son as well.  In my dream he was also happy. 

When Michael died I spoke to a priest who knew Michael quite well and he too assured me that Michael was in Heaven..that he was happy and at peace.  I shared with him that Michael had had a dream once that he was walking on the beach with Jesus, and Fr. J told me that in his Ukrainian Catholicism, dreaming of Jesus was a blessing..and that was all the assurance he needed to know Michael was okay.  Did you know that Catholics have a separate prayer for suicides?  Holy water was sprinkled on the place on the grass where Michael died and it has been a peaceful spot for me ever since. 

It seems to be that there must be a very thin veil separating life from death.  We are really only seconds away from leaving this world.  And I imagine those who have passed away to be just on the other side...just THAT close...but yet that far away, gone from us until our time comes.  Sometimes I feel if I close my eyes and reach out I will feel him and this comforts me.  My boy is always with me, in my heart and in my soul. 

Today would have been his 6th anniversary.  Who would have thought that happy day, that in six short years he would be gone.  It's unbelievable really.  How I wish it was not true.