It's the afternoon of New Year's Eve: a time when some of us make resolutions for the upcoming year, when some welcome the coming twelve months. Aside from acknowledging that this has been the worst year of my life (our lives) I can't think of anything to say. We will not be rejoicing at midnight. Although my husband is going to cook a nice dinner, the celebration is more because there is a three day weekend coming up. I plan on crawling into comfy clothes and curling up under an afghan and watching movies with him. I may not want to be revisitng this year but I know it is going to be a part of learning to live in a world without my son, for the rest of my life.
Tonight I will be praying for strength, for wisdom, for peace and health for those here and no longer here, for lives new to this world, and lives just leaving this world. My faith is stronger than it has ever been, but I will admit that there was a time this year when I was very angry at God. I'm sure He is used to that.
I am thankful for my beautiful family, amazing friends, my husband who supports and sustains me at a time when he is full of grief. And I pray from the Serenity prayer, to be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
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