Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Journeys

I worked this morning, only four hours.  But as I walked out the entrance so many memories came back  all at once and the tears had started before I got to my car.  I don't know if I can do this.  The people I saw today were all very involved in Michael's funeral in the honour guard.  I don't want to go back there in my mind and in my heart.  My workplace just reminds me so much of what used to be, what could have been,  should have been, what should not have been, and ultimately the realisty of what is. 

I don't like it when I feel this way.  The loneliness frightens me.  These are the days when I tell myself it's okay not to be strong. 

This morning at work I read the following:

"Healing is a journey, not a destination"

Today my journey feels like Snakes and Ladders and I guess today was just a snake-day.



1 comment:

Knock knock - it's cancer! said...

Snakes and Ladders is okay Andrea.

And if it's too hard, waiting a while before going back to work, is okay too.

There is no right way of doing this... cut yourself a little bit more slack okay?

Hugs

M.