What's up?

Steven, don't take this personally.  It is my brain misfiring.

I've been having a panicky day.   It should only have been an anxious day but somehow it's gotten out of control.  I've come home from doing the running around I needed to do and after avoiding some that I also needed to do.  The fireplace is burning, Michael's candle has been lit and I'm drinking tea.  I'm comfy and feel safe now that I'm home.

But when I got in the house there was a message on the phone from Steven in Scotland.  We call him "son" and he calls us "mom and pops".  He and Michael were friends as children and he is walking our road of grieving with us.  I was out when he called I guess.  Anyway...I hit the play button on the phone and it said "Hi Mom" or "Hi Mama"...and I thought it was Michael calling.  Only for a couple of seconds but I was just about to scream Michael's name.  Now, Steven has a strong Scottish accent..but all that came across in the first few words was the deepness of his voice, so very much like Michael's. 

What part of a person's psyche takes them by surprise? 

Hello Michael?  Is that you?  Mama is slipping and sliding this week.  I know you understand that and won't judge me because tomorrow having dealt with the snakes I'll be able to climb the ladders. 

I'm off to put on my garden shoes and gloves and dig.  It's an out of kilter day.  I keep getting the msg reminding me that I'm on the McCracken network.  That's a good thing Michael.  Yes, I am definitely on McCracken's network..and always will be.